


For a Cigarette

by KitKatPurrpurr



Series: The Jeong Family [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Gen, Physical Abuse, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:20:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25136803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitKatPurrpurr/pseuds/KitKatPurrpurr
Summary: A memory in Kevin's life when things came to a head with his father.
Series: The Jeong Family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849504
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	For a Cigarette

**Author's Note:**

> August 2nd, 1975

The evening was cool with little in the way of a breeze, and the clouds in the pinkish sky muted what remained of the sun. A wisp of smoke drifted upwards as Kevin exhaled. His legs were bouncing quickly against the side of the deck as he slumped forward, trying to let the nicotine calm his nerves as he anticipated his father’s nightly outdoor smoke. Taking another drag, he glanced backwards, attention being drawn to the sounds of his sister cooking that came through the door before it was closed. Tom Jeong pulled his cigarette carton out of his pants pocket and drew a stick, his eyes down. As they peered upward, he realized what he was looking at, and froze in place.

“Kevin, where did you get that?” His brow began to furrow as he honed in on the cigarette in his son’s hand. An uncomfortable heat burned in Kevin’s chest as he felt his father’s disapproval seep into his skin, and he put his free hand on the back of his head to nervously scratch a nonexistent itch.

“I, well, I didn’t buy it,” he started to say, before Tom interrupted. “Of course you didn’t buy it, you’re too young.” Puffing his chest out, he continued walking over to Kevin, pushing the cigarette he’d grabbed back into the carton. Kevin swung his legs over the railing to rest his feet on the deck, as well as to properly face his father.

“I… I took it from your box. I can pay you back! I just thought-” Before he could get the rest of the sentence out, Tom grabbed Kevin by the shirt and yanked him from the railing, eyes wide with fury.

“So you stole from me!” The older man gritted his teeth, gripping his son’s shirt even more tightly.

“Dad, I’m sorry! Let me pay you back!” Kevin urgently pushed his dad’s shoulders, desperate to put some space between them so he could try reasoning with him. “I just wanted to have something we could do together!” The overwhelming panic at his plan backfiring was setting in.

Tom’s head was filled with white-hot rage, and none of Kevin’s words had any chance of making it through to him. Releasing his right hand from his son’s shirt, he formed a fist and wound it back, then swung it forward to land a blow directly on Kevin’s right eye and his nose. Kevin staggered backwards, the aching pain disorienting him as blood began to trickle out of his nostril, and he leaned on the side of the house. With one swift movement, Tom grabbed him by the throat and pinned him to the wall.

“So, you wanted to play petty criminal with me, is that it? ‘Let’s go steal things with dad,’ huh? Well I’m not some low life. I’m not you.” Tom spoke through gritted teeth as Kevin clawed at his father’s hands, frantically trying to get some air. His eyes were instinctively closing, terrified of the anger he saw in his father’s eyes as the life was being snuffed out of him.

“All these years, I’ve tried so hard to shape you into a respectable member of society, and you continue to disappoint me at every turn. I tried to stop it with those garbage movies, but you found a way to sneak it past me to live out some fucked up gang fantasy. You’re beyond hope, Kevin. You’ll never be anything more than some thieving scum, fated to die alone in prison if not on the street.” Tom’s grip grew tighter, his nails now digging into the skin of Kevin’s neck. Holding him there for a few moments longer, he watched as the blood vessels of his son’s eyes began to burst before throwing him to the ground.

Kevin placed his hand to his throat and started coughing roughly, his whole body shaking as he caught his breath again. Too afraid to look his father in the eyes, he kept his head down and took deep, ragged breaths.

“I’m not going to house a criminal under my roof. Tomorrow I’m going to get you enlisted, just like my father did for me. Might be just the thing you need to finally turn you into someone who isn’t just some lazy, greedy, piece of shit riding off the good will of others.”

Tom walked past Kevin and bent down to pick up the smoldering cigarette his son had been smoking off the deck. As he turned back around, he grabbed Kevin by the hair and lifted his head up, putting the cigarette to his own lips and inhaling deeply. Blowing the smoke into Kevin’s face, he let the cig rest on his lips and sighed, keeping his voice low.

“I want you to remember this day, Kevin. This was the day all your choices led you to. You chose to idolize criminals, you got into trouble at school, you refused to be obedient, and now here you are.” The older man took another drag. “This is your fault, and no one else’s.”

Letting Kevin’s head drop back down, Tom stood up and walked inside, slamming the sliding glass door behind himself. Kevin scrambled onto his feet and stormed off to the old oak tree, quickly scaling the trunk and crawling into the old, partly-rotten tree house he’d spent so much time in as a child.

For just a moment, he sat there staring forward at the moss and ivy that had grown up into the tree house, his thoughts swirling around him like a hundred voices yelling at him. His breathing grew deeper, faster, more frantic, and he shut his eyes as tightly as he could, trying to steady himself as the tears came to his eyes.

“No, no, no, no…”

Desperately pleading with himself not to cry, his breaths turned to gasps, and his eyes shot open, staring directly ahead. Kevin gritted his teeth, the tears pouring out of his eyes, his chest feeling heavy as he fought to contain his emotions, which now pulled down on him like an anvil. He was a trapped animal, leg snagged in a device of his own creation, and now his father was bringing the cage to him. A deep moan escaped his throat as he gripped the sides of his head, still holding back the sob that was pushing its way up and out of him. His whole body shuddered.

Stacy had heard some kind of commotion after her father went outside, but she dared not investigate just yet. Knowing better than to intervene, she waited until he had stormed out of the front door and driven off, then turned the burners off the stove and headed outside. Her brother was nowhere in sight, but she knew exactly where he’d be. For so many years, whenever Kevin and their father would fight, he’d always head up to the tree house, as it was the only place their dad wouldn’t physically come after him. It was far enough away from the house to feel distant from the people who were making his life a living hell, and even at the age of seventeen, he found comfort in it.

Quietly climbing up the oak tree, Stacy spotted her brother sitting in the growing darkness. She noticed how heavy his breaths were, and she urgently pulled herself inside and moved beside him.

“Stacy…!” Kevin wiped his eyes quickly, not looking up at his sister. “What, what are you doing out here?” It took every bit of energy to steady his voice. He always hated looking like a punching bag in front of his sister, and silently thanked the lack of light preventing her from seeing what he looked like now.

“Kevin…” her voice was soothing as she moved close to him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What happened with dad?”

Her question was innocent enough, but the words still stung as he felt the dull ache in his skull and the burning in the skin on his neck and remembered what had happened not even five minutes ago. A low moan came from his chest as he looked away, but Stacy placed her fingers on his chin and turned his head back to face her. Even in the dark, she could see blood in Kevin’s eye, and her stomach dropped to the floor. She leaned her head forward and rested it against Kevin’s, her hands starting to shake.

“Did.... did dad do-” Before she could finish, Kevin exhaled hard and turned his head away again, a few tears trickling from his eyes.

“Please… don’t call him that. He’s not… I’m… I’m not his son.” His voice shook, and he took another deep, ragged breath to try and keep the dam from breaking. Stacy took his chin in her hands and moved his head back up to look directly in his glossy eyes. Kevin tried looking away.

“Kevin, please, look at me.” She waited for him to retake her gaze. “You’re my brother. You always will be, and I’ll always love you no matter what.” Her own eyes faltered for a second as she continued. “And... I’m sorry I couldn’t help more.” Sniffling, she focused on his eyes again.

Kevin struggled to look at her, feeling shame at who he’d become, and as the tears began pouring down his cheeks, he could feel himself crumbling in front of her. After all these years, he never let himself intentionally cry in front of her, but in this one, awful moment, he couldn’t even care.

His head slid down out of her hands and came to rest on her collarbone. The sobs started softly, but with each one he grew louder and louder, and as he held his sister in a tight hug, he began wailing through the moans. Stacy could feel her brother’s body shaking as he struggled to breathe through the tears, and she gently patted his back to help him catch his breath, as she softly murmured “I’m sorry” to him over and over as he cried.

It felt like an eternity of emotional release for Kevin. As he sat there with his sister, his mind bouncing around, reflecting on all the choices he’d made in his life, on everything that could have led his father to hate him so much. He knew that he often did things to spite him, but not when he was genuinely trying a last-ditch effort to bond. It was all to no avail. His father would never love him. He never had.

Kevin opted to stay in the tree house during dinner, with Stacy bringing him a plate of food so he wouldn’t have to sit with his parents. Tom, of course, loudly criticized him for doing this, which his wife, Alice, paid no mind to, but Stacy tried to block out. She didn’t want to hear her father talk poorly about her brother, who had done nothing to deserve a beating.

Hours later, once Tom and Alice had gone to bed, Stacy came back out to the tree house and helped her brother down. Dropping the plate and fork off in the kitchen sink, she led him to their shared bathroom, and upon flicking on the lights, could truly see the damage their father had done. Dried blood trailed down from Kevin’s nose and got onto his lips, and his eyes were bloodshot. The bruising around his eye and nose had set in, to say nothing of the marks on his neck, which were even worse, with small red freckles from burst blood vessels scattered around the bruises.

Kevin began running cold water over his face, wincing as he pressed his hands into the bruise on his eye. Nothing was broken, but he’d be sore later for sure. Stacy grabbed a face cloth and wet it under the faucet, but as she moved to dab at his neck, Kevin immediately panicked, his heart rate spiked, and he whipped his hand to the side to push her back, causing her to hit the wall somewhat roughly. Staring at him, she shrunk back, Kevin’s own eyes wide as he breathed heavily.

“I-I’m, I’m sorry...“ Slowly pulling his hand into his chest, he looked down, tears falling from his eyes again. “Please, just... leave my neck alone…” He placed his hands on either side of the sink, letting his head hang down as he stared at the drain.

Stacy slowly nodded and lowered her hands, placing the wash cloth on the sink, before she gave his near hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m going to bed. Let me know if you need anything.” With all her heart, she wanted to convey that she wasn’t upset with him, just taken aback, but she wasn’t sure if he could even recognize that at this point. He was simply too shaken up.

Once his sister left the bathroom, Kevin slowly looked up at himself in the mirror, taking in every mark his father had left on him. Carefully moving his hand up to his neck, he delicately rubbed the marks, momentarily flashing back to earlier, and feeling his chest fall in response as the urge to cry echoed through him.

Had he truly deserved this? Was this really what he should have expected after all these years? He couldn’t say for sure. In his heart, he wanted to believe his father did still love him, that he wouldn’t be even making an effort to save him if he didn’t. But as he continued to observe the marks on his face and neck, he couldn’t help but doubt that.


End file.
